This was written for my 'General Bardic Studies for Liturgists' course, but could easily be used as a praise offering. It's written in blank verse form.
Through Dagda's Eyes
by Rev. Kirk Thomas
That really was a lot of food I ate,
They thought that I would be undone, the fools.
But one big belch and I had room for more.
I do so like my porridge full of meat
And one small pit of oats is just enough!
But this young Fomor wench, with lidded eyes
Now looks in my direction – Oh my loins!
My mind now travels down my spine to rest
Where reason leaves and primal lusts reside.
Oh joy! My growing member gains her love!
I cannot think.
It’s such a long walk back to our base camp,
And with my member dragging on the ground
Great furrows show the path that I have trod.
My belly is so full it bursts my belt
And rarely have I been so satisfied!
My mission to the Fomor was a flop –
They think that I have left with empty hands.
But sometimes wenches love what I can give
And melt and join my side when I am done.
Upon my face a sly smile slowly spreads.
I’ll have her again!